• Essay:  Small Tasks and Duties   by James Allen
• Essay: Goodnight, You Princes of Vermont    by Steve Roberts
• News:  The Conscious Word
• News:  Photos of Saints and Sages - Download For Free
• Essay:  The Secret Door To Success   by Florence Scovel Shin
• News:  Special Discounts  
• Essay:  "The Promises"   from AA Big Book of Recovery
• News: Free Downloads - Audio and Video
• Delicious Vegetarian Recipes
• News:  Five New Music CDs To Enhance Your Peace
• Poem: My Joy
• News: Embracing The Stillness: Lessons In Meditation
• Story:  Siddhartha (an excerpt)   by Herman Hesse

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As pain and bliss inevitably follow on wrong and right beginnings, so unhappiness and blessedness are inseparably bound up with small tasks and duties. Not that a duty has any power of itself to bestow happiness or the reverse - this is contained in the attitude of the mind which is assumed towards the duty - and everything depends upon the way in which it is approached and done.

Not only great happiness but great power arises from doing little things unselfishly, wisely, and perfectly, for life in its totality is made up of little things. Wisdom inheres in the common details of everyday existence, and when the parts are made perfect the Whole will be without blemish.

Everything in the universe is made up of little things, and the perfection of the great is based upon the perfection of the small. If any detail of the universe were imperfect the Whole would be imperfect. If any particle were omitted the aggregate would cease to be. Without a grain of dust there could be no world, and the world is perfect because the grain of dust is perfect. Neglect of the small is confusion of the great. The snowflake is as perfect as the star; the dew drop is as symmetrical as the planet; the microbe is not less mathematically proportioned than the man. By laying stone upon stone, plumbing and fitting each with perfect adjustment, the temple at last stands forth in all its architectural beauty. The small precedes the great. The small is not merely the apologetic attendant of the great, it is its master and informing genius.

Vain men are ambitious to be great, and look about to do some great thing, ignoring and despising the little tasks which call for immediate attention, and in the doing of which there is no vainglory, regarding such "trivialities" as beneath the notice of great men. The fool lacks knowledge because he lacks humility, and, inflated with the thought of self-importance, he aims at impossible things.

The great man has become such by the scrupulous and unselfish attention which he has given to small duties. He has become wise and powerful by sacrificing ambition and pride in the doing of those necessary things which evoke no applause and promise no reward. He never sought greatness; he sought faithfulness, unselfishness, integrity, truth; and in finding these in the common round of small tasks and duties he unconsciously ascended to the level of greatness.

The great man knows the vast value that inheres in moments, words, greetings, meals, apparel, correspondence, rest, work, detached efforts, fleeting obligations, in the thousand-and-one little things which press upon him for attention - briefly, in the common details of life. He sees everything as divinely apportioned, needing only the application of dispassionate thought and action on his part to render life blessed and perfect. He neglects nothing; does not hurry; seeks to escape nothing but error and folly; attends to every duty as it is presented to him, and does not postpone and regret. By giving himself unreservedly to his nearest duty, forgetting alike pleasure and pain, he attains to that combined childlike simplicity and unconscious power which is greatness.

The advice of Confucius to his disciples: "Eat at your own table as you would at the table of a king," emphasizes the immeasurable importance of little things, as also does that aphorism of another great teacher, Buddha: "If anything is to be done, let a man do it, let him attack it vigorously." To neglect small tasks, or to execute them in a perfunctory or slovenly manner, is a mark of weakness and folly.

The giving of one's entire and unselfish attention to every duty in its proper place evolves, by a natural growth, higher and ever higher combinations of duties, because it evolves power and develops talent, genius, goodness, character. A man ascends into greatness as naturally and unconsciously as the plant evolves a flower, and in the same manner, by fitting, with unabated energy and diligence, every effort and detail in its proper place, thus harmonizing his life and character without friction or waste of power.

Of the almost innumerable recipes for the development of "will-power" and "concentration" which are now scattered abroad, one looks almost in vain for any wholesome hint applicable to vital experience. "Breathings," "postures," "visualizing," "occult methods" are practices as delusive as they are artificial and remote from all that is real and essential in life; while the true path - the path of duty, of earnest and undivided application to one's daily task - along which alone will-power and concentration of thought can be wholesomely and normally developed, remains unknown, untrodden, unexplored even by the elect.

All unnatural forcing and straining in order to gain "power" should be abandoned. There is no way from childhood to manhood but by growth; nor is there any other way from folly to wisdom, from ignorance to knowledge, from weakness to strength. A man must learn how to grow little by little and day after day, by adding thought to thought, effort to effort, deed to deed.

It is true the fakir gains some sort of power by his long persistence in "postures" and "mortifications," but it is a power which is bought at a heavy price, and that price is an equal loss of strength in another direction. He is never a strong, useful character, but a mere fantastic specialist in some psychological trick. He is not a developed man, he is a maimed man.

True will-power consists in overcoming the irritabilities, follies, rash impulses and moral lapses which accompany the daily life of the individual, and which are apt to manifest themselves on every slight provocation; and in developing calmness, self-possession, and dispassionate action in the press and heat of worldly duties, and in the midst of the passionate and unbalanced throng. Anything short of this is not true power, and this can only be developed along the normal pathway of steady growth in executing ever more and more masterfully, unselfishly, and perfectly the daily round of legitimate tasks and pressing obligations.

The master is not he whose "psychological accomplishments," rounded by mystery and wonder, leave him in unguarded moments the prey of irritability, of regret, of peevishness, or other petty folly or vice, but he whose "mastery" is manifested in fortitude, non-resentment, steadfastness, calmness, and infinite patience. The true Master is master of himself; anything other than this is not mastery but delusion.

The man who sets his whole mind on the doing of each task as it is presented, who puts into it energy and intelligence, shutting all else out from his mind, and striving to do that one thing, no matter how small, completely and perfectly, detaching himself from all reward in his task - that man will every day be acquiring greater command over his mind, and will, by ever-ascending degrees, become at last a man of power - a Master.

You can download "Byways to Blessedness" at no charge, by clicking Here.
You can purchase an audio recording of "Byways to Blessedness" by clicking Here.

If you enjoy our inspirational stories and articles, be sure to visit our website for more:
Articles on Personal Growth, Health and Positive Change - Click Here.
Inspiring Stories - Click Here.
Affirmations - Click Here.
Spiritual Poems - Click Here.

To find out more about Steve, see examples of his stone sculptures or read a chapter from his book, click Here.

 Steve Roberts is the author of Cool Mind Warm Heart, a collection of essays, stories, and photographs of stone sculptures he builds on his Vermont farm.  He can be found on the web at CoolMindWarmHeart.com and at TheHeartOfTheEarth.com.

If you enjoy our inspirational stories and articles, be sure to visit our website for more:
Articles on Personal Growth, Health and Positive Change - Click Here.
Inspiring Stories - Click Here.

The Conscious Word is an email newsletter sent directly to you each day.  Each issue contains an inspirational affirmation designed to help uplift your spirits and support your conscious efforts at personal and spiritual growth and development.

By practicing the affirmation which we email to you, for 3 to 4 minutes a day, you create an effective tool that will help you experience an ongoing positive change in your life. 

We all “know” many things.  However, “knowing” something, in and of itself, does not make it “true” to us.  We can read all about oranges; we can look at pictures of oranges and we can talk to people who have eaten oranges.  But, until we taste the orange ourselves, we do not truly understand the full truth about what an orange is. 

Likewise, we can experience the “truth”, the real nature, of many more subtle and essential concepts by “tasting” them.  One of the capabilities of an affirmation is to provide us with a “taste” of the subject matter of the affirmation.

However, something else is also at work in an affirmation.  One of the secrets of the universe is that when a human believes something is so, it becomes what he or she believes.

Jesus said “Verily I say unto you, if ye have faith and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, `Be thou removed and be thou cast into the sea,' it shall be done.  And all things whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”  (Book of Matthew verses 21 and 22)

The key words in this quote are “If ye have faith and doubt not..” and “all things whatsoever ye shall ask believing..”

Jesus is describing this receptivity of the universe to human belief.  However, there are requirements for this belief to be effective.  Jesus says we must have “faith” without doubt and that we must “believe” as we ask.

James Allen’s famous premise “As a man Thinketh, so it is” expresses this same truth.

In essence, when we become utterly convinced of the truth of something, which means we have absolutely no doubts about it, the universe will be molded and shaped to match our conviction.  The challenging part is to find a way to become convinced of something that is not yet actualized.  To cultivate our faith.  This is where affirmations can help.

By taking a thought or collection of thoughts and impressing them deeply upon the mind with persistence and concentration,  a conviction can be cultivated.  Developing our own personal convictions, especially about ourselves, and then deepening and persisting in those convictions is a major key to our health, happiness and success in life.

For More Information and A Two Week Free Trial, Click Here.

"So the people shouted when the priests blew with the trumpets; and it came to pass, when the people heard the sound of the trumpet, and the people shouted with a great shout, that the wall fell down flat, so that the people went up into the city, every man straight before him, and they took the city."--Joshua 6:20

A successful man is always asked - "What is the secret of your success?"

People never ask a man who is a failure, "What is the secret of your failure?" It is quite easy to see and they are not interested.

People all want to know how to open the secret door to success.

For each man there is success, but it seems to be behind a door or wall. In the Bible reading, we have heard the wonderful story of the falling of the walls of Jericho.

Of course all biblical stories have a metaphysical interpretation.

We will talk now about your wall of Jericho: the wall separating you from success. Nearly everyone has built a wall around his own Jericho.

This city you are not able to enter, contains great treasures; your divinely designed success, your heart's desire!

What kind of wall have you built around your Jericho? Often, it is a wall of resentment - resenting someone, or resenting a situation, shuts off your good.

If you are a failure and resent the success of someone else, you are keeping away your own success.

I have given the following statement to neutralize envy and resentment.

What God has done for others, He now does for me and more.

A woman was filled with envy because a friend had received a gift, she made this statement, and an exact duplicate of the gift was given her - plus another present.

It was when the children of Israel shouted, that the walls of Jericho fell down. When you make an affirmation of Truth, your wall of Jericho totters.

I gave the following statement to a woman: The walls of lack and delay now crumble away, and I enter my Promised Land, under grace. She had a vivid picture of stepping over a fallen wall, and received the demonstration of her good, almost immediately.

It is the word of realization which brings about a change in your affiars; for words and thoughts are a form of radio-activity.

Taking an interest in your work, enjoying what you are doing opens the secret door of success.

A number of years ago I went to California to speak at the different centers, by way of the Panama Canal, and on the boat I met a man named Jim Tully.

For years he had been a tramp. He called himself The King of the Hoboes.

He was ambitious and picked up an education.

He had a vivid imagination and commenced writing stories about his experiences.

He dramatized tramp life, he enjoyed what he was doing, and became a very successful author. I remember one book called "Outside Looking In." It was made into a motion picture.

He is now famous and prosperous and lives in Hollywood. What opened the secret door to success for Jim Tully?

Dramatizing his life - being interested in what he was doing, he made the most of being a tramp. On the boat, we all sat at the captain's table, which gave us a chance to talk.

Mrs. Grace Stone was also a passenger on the boat; she had written the "Bitter Tea of General Yen," and was going to Hollywood to have it made into a moving-picture; she had lived in China and was inspired to write the book.

That is the Secret of Success, to make what you are doing interesting to other people. Be interested yourself, and others will find you interesting.

A good disposition, a smile, often opens the secret door; the Chinese say, "A man without a smiling face, must not open a shop."

The success of a smile was brought out in a French moving-picture in which Chevalier took the lead, the picture was called, "With a Smile." One of the characters had become poor, dreary and almost a derelict; He said to Chevalier "What good has my honesty done me?" Chevalier replied, "Even honesty won't help you, without a smile." So the man changes on the spot, cheers up, and becomes very successful.

Living in the past, complaining of your misfortunes, builds a thick wall around your Jericho.

Talking too much about your affairs, scattering your forces, brings you up against a high wall. I knew a man of brains and ability, who was a complete failure.

He lived with his mother and aunt, and I found that every night when he went home to dinner, he told them all that had taken place during the day at the office; he discussed his hopes, his fears, and his failures.

I said to him, "You scatter your forces by talking about your affairs. Don't discuss your business with your family. Silence is golden!"

He took my lead. During dinner he refused to talk about business. His mother and aunt were in despair. They loved to hear all about everything, but his silence proved golden!

Not long after, he was given a position at one hundred dollars a week, and in a few years, he had a salary of three hundred dollars a week.

Success is not a secret, it is a System.

Many people are up against the wall of discouragement. Courage and endurance are part of the system. We read this in lives of all successful men and women.

I had an amusing experience which brought this to my notice. I went to a moving picture theatre to meet a friend.

While waiting, I stood near a young boy, selling programs.

He called to people passing, "Buy a complete program of the picture, containing photographs of the actors and a sketch of their lives."

Most people passed by without buying. To my great surprise, he suddenly turned to me, and said - "Say, this ain't no racket for a guy with ambition!"

Then he gave a discourse on success. He said, "Most people give up just before something big is coming to them. A successful man never gives up."

Of course I was interested and said, "I'll bring you a book the next time I come. It is called The Game of Life and How to Play It. You will agree with a lot of the ideas."

A week or two later I went back with the book.

The girl at the ticket office said to him - "Let me read it, Eddie, while you are selling programs." The man who took tickets leaned over to see what it was about.

"The Game of Life" always gets people's interests.

I returned to the theatre in about three weeks, Eddie had gone. He had expanded into a new job that he liked. His wall of Jericho had crumbled, he had refused to be discouraged.

Only twice, is the word success mentioned in the Bible -- both times in the Book of Joshua.

"Only be strong and very courageous to observe to do according to all the law which Moses, my servant, commanded thee: turn not from it to the right nor to the left, that thou mayest have good success whithersoever thou goest. This book of the law shall not depart from thy mouth, but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do all that is written therein, for then shalt thou make thy way prosperous and thou shalt have good success. Turn not to the right nor to the left."

The road to success is a straight and narrow path; it is a road of loving absorption, of undivided attention.

You attract the things you give a great deal of thought to.

So if you give a great deal of thought to lack, you attract lack, if you give a great deal of thought to injustice, you attract more injustice.

Joshua said, "And it shall come to pass, that when they make a long blast with the ram's horn, and when ye hear the sound of the trumpet, all the people shall shout with a great shout: and the wall of the city shall fall down flat, and the people shall ascend up, every man straight before him."

The inner meaning of this story, is the power of the word, your word which dissolves obstacles, and removes barriers.

When the people shouted the walls fell down.

We find in folk-lore and fairy stories, which come down from legends founded on Truth, the same idea - a word opens a door or cleaves a rock.

We have it again in the Arabian Night's Story, "Ali Baba and The Forty Thieves." I saw it made into a moving picture.

Ali Baba has a secret hiding place, hidden somewhere behind rocks and mountains, the entrance may only be gained by speaking a secret word. -- It is "Open Sesame!"

Ali Baba faces the mountain and cries - "Open Sesame!" and rocks slide apart.

It is very inspiring, for it gives you the realization of how YOUR own rocks and barriers, will part at the right word.

So let us take the statement -- The walls of lack and delay now crumble away, and I enter my Promised Land, under grace.

You can download "The Secret Door To Success" in its entirety, at no charge, by clicking Here.

You can purchase an audio recording of "The Game of Life by Florence Scovel Shin" by clicking Here.

One of the most popular sections of our website is our gallery of saints, sages and gurus of all religions.  In addition, we are also adding photographs of holy sites and shrines. 

We are continually adding new images, so don't forget to take a look and see what's new  - just click Here!  

The Promises   (from The Big Book of AA)

"The Spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it."

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which use to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."

In addition, we continue to offer a wide variety of other recordings including "The Science of Getting Rich", "Practicing The Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence, "The Imitation of Christ" by Thomas a Kempis, Buddhist Insight Meditation Instructions, Loving Kindness Meditation Instructions, lectures by Krishnamurti and an interview with the Dalai Lama along with many other recordings.  Just click Here to download your new audio books for free.

Free Video -
Along with our audio recordings, large collection of still pictures and music recordings, we also offer an increasing number of inspiring and informative video selections.  Our new additions include a collection of meditation instruction videos:  "Imagination Meditation, "laughter Meditation", Music For Meditation and Healing" and "Relaxation, Deep Breathing and Meditation".  We've also added two new televised reports on the health benefits of meditation and "A Man of God - An Interview With Leonard Ravenhill". 

We also continue to offer a variety of short videos of Paramahansa Yogananda, a collection of talks by Krishnamurti, a biography of Mary Baker Eddy and several other video titles of interest.  Just click Here.

New Delicious Vegetarian Recipes:

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News: New Pictorial Book "India Unveiled" by Robert Arnett
 

India Unveiled has been internationally acclaimed as one of the most revealing compendiums ever written about the country. The stunning photography and engaging text with an insightful portrait of its people, landscape, and diverse culture, truly captures the essence of India, one of the oldest continuously surviving civilizations on earth. - Independent Publisher Book Awards: Best Travel Book of the Year  - Benjamin Franklin Award: Best Travel Essay of the Year - Mid-American Publishers Association (MAPA): Best Armchair Travel Book of the Year - MAPA's Best Color Photography Book of the Year First Runner-up - British Book-of-the-Month Travel Club Selection To find out more about India Unveiled and Robert Arnett, click Here.

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A Poem by William Simpson -

Let's share the gifts for which we are most grateful:
 joy, wisdom, love and the means to increase them in our lives. 
Click Here for our special discounts.

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News:  New Audio CD - Byways To Blessedness by James Allen (4 CD Set)

Many of our members and visitors are familiar with the James Allen's classic book "As A Man Thinketh".  This is Mr. Allen's most popular book and is a wonderful introduction to his view of the power of thoughts, words and actions.  For those who have not read it, "As A Man Thinketh" is available in the "E-Books" section of our website at no charge.  We also offer an audio version of the book Here.

However, the most complete expression of his approach to living is contained in his masterwork "Byways To Blessedness".  This book is the most complete, detailed and in-depth expression of James Allen’s inspirational vision of the path to conscious evolution.  As "As A Man Thinketh" was the introductory course to his thoughts and wisdom, "Byways To Blessedness" is James Allen's Master's thesis.  Ours is the only complete audio version of this work available anywhere.

This four CD unabridged recording contains the keys to personal happiness, prosperity, health and spiritual growth. 

To hear sample selections from this new recording, click Here.

When nothing else will work, taking a brief walk outside, sitting in the park, or just admiring beautiful flowers can often reduce stress and give us a break from our routine.  However, sometimes, we don't have the opportunity to go out and get back to nature.

CLF wants to give you the alternative of bringing nature into your workplace, computer room or home.  We have recently added over 350 new photographs of nature, including a collection of wonderful photographs taken with the Hubble Space Telescope.

So don't miss this opportunity to see the wonders of the earth and the universe, at absolutely no charge - just click Here!

News:  New Audio CD - Embracing The Stillness - Lessons In Meditation

Embracing The Stillness is a collection of meditation techniques explained and practiced with the Director of The Conscious Living Foundation, William Simpson. It contains the following tracks: Discovering The Purpose of Our Lives  (2:29) How To Meditate  (3:22) Meditation on a Devotional Phrase  (11:01) Affirmation for Relaxation and Happiness  (6:45) Learning the Technique of Meditating on Om  (5:46) Meditation on Chanting Om  (6:25) Affirmation for Health, Wealth and Wisdom  (8:28) Sitting in the Stillness  (3:31) Affirmation for Perfection, Immortality and Light  (11:25) Visualization and Prayer for Others  (2:44) What We Believe  (1:31) "There is an essential part of our being which exists beyond thought and feeling - pure awareness.  When we can remain present, alert and calm, we discover the fertile ground upon which we can plant the seeds of immediate growth, positive change and joy".  William Simpson - from "Embracing The Stillness" To hear some sample selections from this new recording, click Here.

In the shade of the house, in the sunshine of the riverbank near the

boats, in the shade of the Sal-wood forest, in the shade of the fig tree

is where Siddhartha grew up, the handsome son of the Brahman, the young

falcon, together with his friend Govinda, son of a Brahman.  The sun

tanned his light shoulders by the banks of the river when bathing,

performing the sacred ablutions, the sacred offerings.  In the mango

grove, shade poured into his black eyes, when playing as a boy, when

his mother sang, when the sacred offerings were made, when his father,

the scholar, taught him, when the wise men talked.  For a long time,

Siddhartha had been partaking in the discussions of the wise men,

practising debate with Govinda, practising with Govinda the art of

reflection, the service of meditation.  He already knew how to speak the

Om silently, the word of words, to speak it silently into himself while

inhaling, to speak it silently out of himself while exhaling, with all

the concentration of his soul, the forehead surrounded by the glow of

the clear-thinking spirit.  He already knew to feel Atman in the depths

of his being, indestructible, one with the universe.

Joy leapt in his father's heart for his son who was quick to learn,

thirsty for knowledge; he saw him growing up to become great wise man

and priest, a prince among the Brahmans.

Bliss leapt in his mother's breast when she saw him, when she saw him

walking, when she saw him sit down and get up, Siddhartha, strong,

handsome, he who was walking on slender legs, greeting her with perfect

respect.

Love touched the hearts of the Brahmans' young daughters when

Siddhartha walked through the lanes of the town with the luminous

forehead, with the eye of a king, with his slim hips.

But more than all the others he was loved by Govinda, his friend, the

son of a Brahman.  He loved Siddhartha's eye and sweet voice, he loved

his walk and the perfect decency of his movements, he loved everything

Siddhartha did and said and what he loved most was his spirit, his

transcendent, fiery thoughts, his ardent will, his high calling.

Govinda knew: he would not become a common Brahman, not a lazy official

in charge of offerings; not a greedy merchant with magic spells; not a

vain, vacuous speaker; not a mean, deceitful priest; and also not a

decent, stupid sheep in the herd of the many.  No, and he, Govinda, as

well did not want to become one of those, not one of those tens of

thousands of Brahmans.  He wanted to follow Siddhartha, the beloved,

the splendid.  And in days to come, when Siddhartha would become a god,

when he would join the glorious, then Govinda wanted to follow him as

his friend, his companion, his servant, his spear-carrier, his shadow.

Siddhartha was thus loved by everyone.  He was a source of joy for

everybody, he was a delight for them all.

But he, Siddhartha, was not a source of joy for himself, he found no

delight in himself.  Walking the rosy paths of the fig tree garden,

sitting in the bluish shade of the grove of contemplation, washing his

limbs daily in the bath of repentance, sacrificing in the dim shade of

the mango forest, his gestures of perfect decency, everyone's love and

joy, he still lacked all joy in his heart.  Dreams and restless thoughts

came into his mind, flowing from the water of the river, sparkling from

the stars of the night, melting from the beams of the sun, dreams came

to him and a restlessness of the soul, fuming from the sacrifices,

breathing forth from the verses of the Rig-Veda, being infused into him,

drop by drop, from the teachings of the old Brahmans.

Siddhartha had started to nurse discontent in himself, he had started

to feel that the love of his father and the love of his mother, and also

the love of his friend, Govinda, would not bring him joy for ever and

ever, would not nurse him, feed him, satisfy him.  He had started to

suspect that his venerable father and his other teachers, that the wise

Brahmans had already revealed to him the most and best of their wisdom,

that they had already filled his expecting vessel with their richness,

and the vessel was not full, the spirit was not content, the soul was

not calm, the heart was not satisfied.  The ablutions were good, but

they were water, they did not wash off the sin, they did not heal the

spirit's thirst, they did not relieve the fear in his heart.  The

sacrifices and the invocation of the gods were excellent--but was that

all?  Did the sacrifices give a happy fortune?  And what about the gods?

Was it really Prajapati who had created the world?  Was it not the

Atman, He, the only one, the singular one?  Were the gods not creations,

created like me and you, subject to time, mortal?  Was it therefore

good, was it right, was it meaningful and the highest occupation to make

offerings to the gods?  For whom else were offerings to be made, who

else was to be worshipped but Him, the only one, the Atman?  And where

was Atman to be found, where did He reside, where did his eternal heart

beat, where else but in one's own self, in its innermost part, in its

indestructible part, which everyone had in himself?  But where, where

was this self, this innermost part, this ultimate part?  It was not

flesh and bone, it was neither thought nor consciousness, thus the

wisest ones taught.  So, where, where was it?  To reach this place, the

self, myself, the Atman, there was another way, which was worthwhile

looking for?  Alas, and nobody showed this way, nobody knew it, not the

father, and not the teachers and wise men, not the holy sacrificial

songs!  They knew everything, the Brahmans and their holy books, they

knew everything, they had taken care of everything and of more than

everything, the creation of the world, the origin of speech, of food, of

inhaling, of exhaling, the arrangement of the senses, the acts of the

gods, they knew infinitely much--but was it valuable to know all of

this, not knowing that one and only thing, the most important thing, the

solely important thing?

Surely, many verses of the holy books, particularly in the Upanishades

of Samaveda, spoke of this innermost and ultimate thing, wonderful

verses.  "Your soul is the whole world", was written there, and it was

written that man in his sleep, in his deep sleep, would meet with his

innermost part and would reside in the Atman.  Marvellous wisdom was in

these verses, all knowledge of the wisest ones had been collected here

in magic words, pure as honey collected by bees.  No, not to be looked

down upon was the tremendous amount of enlightenment which lay here

collected and preserved by innumerable generations of wise Brahmans.--

But where were the Brahmans, where the priests, where the wise men or

penitents, who had succeeded in not just knowing this deepest of all

knowledge but also to live it?  Where was the knowledgeable one who wove

his spell to bring his familiarity with the Atman out of the sleep into

the state of being awake, into the life, into every step of the way,

into word and deed?  Siddhartha knew many venerable Brahmans, chiefly

his father, the pure one, the scholar, the most venerable one.  His

father was to be admired, quiet and noble were his manners, pure his

life, wise his words, delicate and noble thoughts lived behind its brow

--but even he, who knew so much, did he live in blissfulness, did he

have peace, was he not also just a searching man, a thirsty man?  Did he

not, again and again, have to drink from holy sources, as a thirsty man,

from the offerings, from the books, from the disputes of the Brahmans?

Why did he, the irreproachable one, have to wash off sins every day,

strive for a cleansing every day, over and over every day?  Was not

Atman in him, did not the pristine source spring from his heart?  It had

to be found, the pristine source in one's own self, it had to be

possessed!  Everything else was searching, was a detour, was getting

lost.

Thus were Siddhartha's thoughts, this was his thirst, this was his

suffering.

Often he spoke to himself from a Chandogya-Upanishad the words:

"Truly, the name of the Brahman is satyam--verily, he who knows such a

thing, will enter the heavenly world every day."  Often, it seemed near,

the heavenly world, but never he had reached it completely, never he had

quenched the ultimate thirst.  And among all the wise and wisest men, he

knew and whose instructions he had received, among all of them there was

no one, who had reached it completely, the heavenly world, who had

quenched it completely, the eternal thirst.

"Govinda," Siddhartha spoke to his friend, "Govinda, my dear, come with

me under the Banyan tree, let's practice meditation."

They went to the Banyan tree, they sat down, Siddhartha right here,

Govinda twenty paces away.  While putting himself down, ready to speak

the Om, Siddhartha repeated murmuring the verse:

Om is the bow, the arrow is soul,

The Brahman is the arrow's target,

That one should incessantly hit.

After the usual time of the exercise in meditation had passed, Govinda

rose.  The evening had come, it was time to perform the evening's ablution.

He called Siddhartha's name.  Siddhartha did not answer.  Siddhartha sat

there lost in thought, his eyes were rigidly focused towards a very

distant target, the tip of his tongue was protruding a little between

the teeth, he seemed not to breathe.  Thus sat he, wrapped up in

contemplation, thinking Om, his soul sent after the Brahman as an arrow.

Once, Samanas had travelled through Siddhartha's town, ascetics on a

pilgrimage, three skinny, withered men, neither old nor young, with

dusty and bloody shoulders, almost naked, scorched by the sun,

surrounded by loneliness, strangers and enemies to the world, strangers

and lank jackals in the realm of humans.  Behind them blew a hot scent

of quiet passion, of destructive service, of merciless self-denial.

In the evening, after the hour of contemplation, Siddhartha spoke to

Govinda:  "Early tomorrow morning, my friend, Siddhartha will go to the

Samanas.  He will become a Samana."

Govinda turned pale, when he heard these words and read the decision in

the motionless face of his friend, unstoppable like the arrow shot from

the bow.  Soon and with the first glance, Govinda realized:  Now it is

beginning, now Siddhartha is taking his own way, now his fate is

beginning to sprout, and with his, my own.  And he turned pale like a

dry banana-skin.

"O Siddhartha," he exclaimed, "will your father permit you to do that?"

Siddhartha looked over as if he was just waking up.  Arrow-fast he read

in Govinda´s soul, read the fear, read the submission.

"O Govinda," he spoke quietly, "let's not waste words.  Tomorrow, at

daybreak I will begin the life of the Samanas.  Speak no more of it."

Siddhartha entered the chamber, where his father was sitting on a mat of

bast, and stepped behind his father and remained standing there, until

his father felt that someone was standing behind him.  Quoth the

Brahman:  "Is that you, Siddhartha?  Then say what you came to say."

Quoth Siddhartha: "With your permission, my father.  I came to tell you

that it is my longing to leave your house tomorrow and go to the

ascetics.  My desire is to become a Samana.  May my father not oppose

this."

The Brahman fell silent, and remained silent for so long that the stars

in the small window wandered and changed their relative positions, 'ere

the silence was broken.  Silent and motionless stood the son with his

arms folded, silent and motionless sat the father on the mat, and the

stars traced their paths in the sky.  Then spoke the father:  "Not

proper it is for a Brahman to speak harsh and angry words.  But

indignation is in my heart.  I wish not to hear this request for a

second time from your mouth."

Slowly, the Brahman rose; Siddhartha stood silently, his arms folded.

 "What are you waiting for?" asked the father.

 Quoth Siddhartha:  "You know what."

Indignant, the father left the chamber; indignant, he went to his bed

and lay down.

After an hour, since no sleep had come over his eyes, the Brahman stood

up, paced to and fro, and left the house.  Through the small window of

the chamber he looked back inside, and there he saw Siddhartha standing,

his arms folded, not moving from his spot.  Pale shimmered his bright

robe.  With anxiety in his heart, the father returned to his bed.

After another hour, since no sleep had come over his eyes, the Brahman

stood up again, paced to and fro, walked out of the house and saw that

the moon had risen.  Through the window of the chamber he looked back

inside; there stood Siddhartha, not moving from his spot, his arms

folded, moonlight reflecting from his bare shins.  With worry in his

heart, the father went back to bed.

And he came back after an hour, he came back after two hours, looked

through the small window, saw Siddhartha standing, in the moon light,

by the light of the stars, in the darkness.  And he came back hour after

hour, silently, he looked into the chamber, saw him standing in the same

place, filled his heart with anger, filled his heart with unrest, filled

his heart with anguish, filled it with sadness.

And in the night's last hour, before the day began, he returned, stepped

into the room, saw the young man standing there, who seemed tall and

like a stranger to him.

"Siddhartha," he spoke, "what are you waiting for?"

"You know what."

"Will you always stand that way and wait, until it'll becomes morning,

noon, and evening?"

"I will stand and wait.

 "You will become tired, Siddhartha."

 "I will become tired."

 "You will fall asleep, Siddhartha."

 "I will not fall asleep."

 "You will die, Siddhartha."

 "I will die."

"And would you rather die, than obey your father?"

 "Siddhartha has always obeyed his father."

 "So will you abandon your plan?"

 "Siddhartha will do what his father will tell him to do."

The first light of day shone into the room.  The Brahman saw that

Siddhartha was trembling softly in his knees.  In Siddhartha's face he

saw no trembling, his eyes were fixed on a distant spot.  Then his

father realized that even now Siddhartha no longer dwelt with him in his

home, that he had already left him.

The Father touched Siddhartha's shoulder.

"You will," he spoke, "go into the forest and be a Samana.  When

you'll have found blissfulness in the forest, then come back and teach

me to be blissful.  If you'll find disappointment, then return and let

us once again make offerings to the gods together.  Go now and kiss your

mother, tell her where you are going to.  But for me it is time to go to

the river and to perform the first ablution."

He took his hand from the shoulder of his son and went outside.

Siddhartha wavered to the side, as he tried to walk.  He put his limbs

back under control, bowed to his father, and went to his mother to do as

his father had said.

As he slowly left on stiff legs in the first light of day the still

quiet town, a shadow rose near the last hut, who had crouched there,

and joined the pilgrim--Govinda.

"You have come," said Siddhartha and smiled.

 "I have come," said Govinda.

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