Articles On Personal Growth And Change

Below are a collection of insightful and encouraging articles on our personal growth and change.  This page is designed to be a place where we can share the articles that have helped us move forward in our lives.

If you would like to share your favorite articles with us, email us at: clf@consciouslivingfoundation.org. and we will add them to this page.

 

In addition to the inspiring articles located directly below, new inspirational stories are always being uploaded to our Inspiring Articles and Stories Uploads Forum.  To visit that forum, click Here.

How I Bought A Pickup and Found God by Steve Roberts

First Steps To Spiritual Growth

An Inner And Outer Environment For Growth And Change

Are You Affirming Unconsciously?

Where Is My Joy?

The Healing Power Of The Precepts:  Building Self Esteem The Buddhist Way

A Thought:  What Is Success?

Happy And Healthy Thoughts

The Paradox Of Feeling Stable In An Unstable World

A Letter:  Pilgrims Together

A Letter:  Desiderata

Balancing Masculine And Feminine

A Story:  Relativity

The Foundation Of Chan Buddhist Meditation

Christmas Story:  One Solitary Life

Christmas Story:  The Gift Of The Magi

Abraham Lincoln:  An Inspiration To Persist

The Attitude Behind Persistence

The Fundamentals For Life - A Kid's View

The Fundamentals For Life - An Adult's View

Who Counts?

Love

Anything Is Possible

Are Happy People Born That Way?

Don't Look Back

Happiness On Hold

You Are Worthy

May You Always Feel Loved

Smelling The Roses:  Better Living Through Savoring

Healing Through Song

Pilgrimage (A Meditation)

Q-TIP It - Quit Taking It Personally

The Promise

Memo From God

 

Article:  First Steps To Spiritual Growth   by Bill Simpson

Spiritual poems are snap shots – brief glimpses into a particular moment.  Hopefully they serve to inspire and encourage you to begin or continue your own spiritual journey of discovery. While they may inspire, poems can not give you the actual experiences that they attempt to describe.  In order for you to experience your own growth and transformation, you must walk the path, not merely view photographs of another’s journey. This chapter is a brief “how to” of pragmatic preliminary steps that can be taken to begin or deepen your own personal progress to a happier, more aware life.  They are included with my best wishes and with the confidence that you will find that which you seek.  “Change begets change.  Nothing propagates so fast.  If a man habituated to a narrow circle of cares and pleasures, out of which he seldom travels, step beyond it, though for never so brief a space, his departure from the monotonous scene on which he has been an actor of importance would seem to be the signal for instant confusion.... The mine which Time has slowly dug beneath familiar objects is sprung in an instant; and what was rock before, becomes but sand and dust.”       - Charles Dickens Most of us live in a whirlwind created by our thoughts and activities.  Our conscious attention is not on our life, but on the thousand things to do and say.  We have a choice, whether to be driven by our desires for fortune, fame, the right work, doing a good job, finding the right mate, improving our health, or a limitless number of other hopes and desires – or to consider some alternative.  These hopes and desires, thoughts and actions, create the whirlwind.  And to the degree we are emotionally and physically moved by them, we immerse ourselves in that whirlwind.  Eventually, we forget that being happy is important – that appreciating the beauty of this moment is necessary for our health.  Rather, we continue to be driven deeper and deeper into “doing” and we may lose our “being”. But, there is another way.  There is a life with more joy, more peace, more health, more sincere appreciation for the constant gifts of life and love.  Where to begin?  Carl Jung said, "Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart. Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside, awakes."   Meditation Of all the tools presented here, meditation is the most important.  It is the most effective.  However, it is also the most subtle and may often feel unproductive, if you require an instant perception of progress. There are a large variety of meditation techniques.  Some involve bodily movement, some looking at an outer object such as a candle flame or mandala, others involve chanting or listening to a sound, such as a gong or bell.  These are all effective and may be appropriate techniques with which to begin. Your goal in meditating is to allow the mind to relax and for thoughts to slow down and eventually stop – even if only for short periods of time.  During your meditation, always keep your attention on the meditation technique.  When thoughts intrude, do not get caught in the loop of recognizing that you’re thinking and then have an additional thought that makes a judgment on you for thinking, and then having another thought that you should stop thinking, etc.  This chain of thoughts can continue throughout your meditation time.  This is not meditation – this is thinking about issues relating to meditation. As you are able to let your thinking subside, you will discover spaces between your thoughts.  These spaces are created by the technique.  Let these spaces expand.  Inwardly, rest in these spaces; embrace them. (For the complete chapter on first steps to growth and change, see "From The Path - Verses From The Mystic Journey" by clicking Here) Copyright 2004 by The Conscious Living Foundation, All Rights Reserved

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"A spiritual bullet that will penetrate your soul with excitement for the written word.. poems filled with inspiration about... faith, love and beliefs.  An appealing book of wisdom... a wonderful gift or tool for your own soul searching."  - Midwest Book Review

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Article:  An Inner and Outer Environment for Growth and Change   by Bill Simpson

“Nothing is lost upon a man who is bent upon growth; nothing wasted on one who is always preparing for … life by keeping eyes, mind and heart open to nature, men, books, experience … and what he gathers serves him at unexpected moments in unforeseen ways.”              Hamilton Wright Mabie              Having come to the conclusion that you want your life to be better than it is now, that you want positive change and growth in your life, is a wonderful step forward.  However, the next step is figuring out how to actually start and maintain that process of growth and change.              This is the first in a series of articles taken from the class outline for Fundamentals of Conscious Living, one of the ongoing workshops offered by the Conscious Living Foundation.              In this series we will explore a variety of questions related toward the goal of developing a life lived more consciously.               How do we change and grow?  What are the requirements that will allow us to genuinely become something new – something that comes closer to our higher aspirations?              We possess internal mechanisms that we use to perceive and understand our life’s experience.  Unfortunately, we also possess internal obstructions that distort and confuse our perceptions and understanding.              We have access to techniques and tools that mankind has discovered to aid us in overcoming those obstructions and exploring higher perceptions of the nature of ourselves and the nature of reality.  But, somehow, we are still inhibited in our ability to use these tools and techniques to advantage.  What do we have to do to in order to complete the circle of thinking about change to actually achieving it?              In many cases, it is our ability to be genuinely involved, rather than to distance ourselves and “observe” the process of our own experience that leads to genuine learning, growth and change.  To “have our whole heart in it” as the common phrase says, rather than to be satisfied with a mere intellectual understanding.  Bridging that gap is the first issue that we would like to discuss.  There are four initial requirements to be met in order for a personal shift in involvement from an intellectual “understanding” to a personal, experiential “knowing” to take place:  1.  Vulnerability: The experiences that we each can potentially have during our daily lives as well as during time shared with others can only have meaning for “you”, if “you” allow them to enter into “you”.  We are all trained to be skeptical and we are not urging you to set aside all reasonableness.  We are definitely not asking you to accept on faith what is said in our CLF workshops.  However, we are urging you to apply your defenses consciously and by choice rather than reactively and “instinctively”.  The purpose of the Fundamentals Of Conscious Living workshops and CLF generally, is about “you” opening the doors of new awareness and “you” walking through those doors, and “you” applying awareness to what you perceive on the other side of those doors and “you” recognizing the authenticity of those experiences and “you” applying the lessons from those experiences to “your” daily life.  This cannot and will not happen unless you open yourself to the process of change and that will not happen unless you allow yourself to be vulnerable.  Vulnerability will not happen for most of us immediately.  It is a process.  However, that process begins with a conscious decision to let down the barriers, to let our first reaction be one of a loving embrace rather than a “pushing away”.                          One of the prerequisites for vulnerability is:  2.  A Safe and Loving Environment:  You are an essential ingredient in creating this prerequisite.  The only way we can create and maintain a safe environment during our workshops and classes is if you do everything you can to support that feeling.  This is also true in what we bring to all of the environments we share in our daily routines.  Primarily that means, set aside “judging”.  That doesn't mean to set aside discrimination and awareness; just set aside for a little while, the need to characterize, compare and make value assessments of everything that everyone else says.  And, (and this is more difficult) everything that you say.  In this context, the opposite of what we mean by “judgment” is “acceptance”.    To the degree that we can turn off that calculating, constantly measuring part of our minds that keeps an updated score on right and wrong, good and bad, intelligent and stupid, insightful and boring and replaces it with continuous, patient, understanding, embracing, loving, encouragement; you will doing your part to support the environment you share with others.  Similarly, you are also creating the best internal environment for your own experience.   However, among all the elements of your participation, the one that is most fundamental to any genuine change in your life is:              3.  Your Willingness to Change:  Sometimes it is much easier to say “I want to change” than to really mean it.  As soon as we take this concept out of the theoretical and apply it to our own personalities, it generally gets scary pretty quickly.    We have all built up these personality structures that we use to define ourselves.  “This is who I am; take it or leave it”.  Anytime there is an adjustment in that structure, some part of ourselves will feel uncomfortable.  The degree of uncomfortability that you are willing to experience, has a direct one-to-one relationship with the degree of change that you are willing to experience. It is not the goal of CLF to change you.  It is our goal to give you an opportunity and an environment to allow you to change yourself. Obviously, this will not work unless you genuinely want to change.  William Burroughs said “Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape.”  In other words, willingness and desire to change usually comes when we are having painful, mold-shattering experiences.  This pattern of desire to change when things are tough is repeated in the lives of most of the great personalities who have achieved success in their chosen area of life. Generally, we are only willing to change when we are forced to.  Are you ready to change?  Do you desire to change?  Do you genuinely have to change?  If your answers to those questions is “yes”, then you have come to the right place.  The essence of CLF’s workshops is actual, positive, personal change.                          The last element that is essential to our success is:  4.  Trust:  The trust required is not trust in some specific individual or trust in CLF or the other people participating in your class or your life, but rather, our old and faithful friend – “you”.  What does it mean to trust yourself?  The source of any insight or realizations that you might experience during our work together will be you.  We suggest that you trust and accept that what feelings come to your awareness are right for you at this moment in time.  In the Fundamentals of Conscious Living workshops, as in life, the primary approach that we use is one of shared interaction.  We take turns looking within ourselves to find answers to a variety of questions on a variety of subjects relating to personal and spiritual growth.  When those answers come to you, trust them.  Trust that the deeper feelings and intuitions that may arise are your truth, at least for the moment, until greater understanding comes.    If we can’t rely on our own personal understanding of the moment, what can we rely on?  This, in no way, is obviating the need to rely on Spirit.  But, Spirit tends to use instruments, and to be effective as an instrument of Spirit - to do God’s will - requires this same trust.            If, over time, we can come to embrace, accept and trust the thoughts and feelings that are communicated through our own hearts, we will have successfully begun the journey from distancing ourselves from our lives to becoming more directly connected to our experiences, our feelings and our potential for positive change.  (To be continued.)

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Article:  Are You Affirming Unconsciously?                       by Jeff Braucher

What’s floating beneath the surface of our conscious awareness? Subliminal or subtle thoughts that define who we are: how healthy we are, how successful we are, how happy we are. What are these thoughts telling us about ourselves? What are they telling us we can and can’t do? How many times do we tell ourselves we can’t do something, and are hardly aware of what we’re thinking? These thoughts are so familiar to us that they go unnoticed, so we often don’t even see how our lives follow the direction of those thoughts. We may wonder why we’re not succeeding or why our health doesn’t improve. If we become more aware of our thoughts, we might find the answer there. We may discover that our conscious desires don’t match our subconscious desires. We may discover that we are sabotaging our very efforts to improve and grow on all levels. What can we do once we discover the lack of alignment between what we’re thinking and what we need and desire? We can start to think new thoughts and keep thinking them until they become our habitual thought pattern and eventually create the reality we want. It does little good to blame others or our environment for what we have or don’t have in life when it’s our thoughts that are largely responsible for how things turn out. And since we are responsible for our own thoughts, we are responsible for what manifests in our lives. Many of us at the Conscious Living Foundation practice some form of affirmation and visualization. Affirmation and visualization, together or practiced separately, can create the change in our thought patterns that in turn create changes in our condition or circumstances — sometimes within a matter of minutes. Even if things don’t change as rapidly as we’d like, we have a changed and more empowering consciousness, one that feels in charge and is doing everything within its power to create whatever we want or need. As we wait for conditions to improve, we are buoyed by the strength of our changed consciousness.

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Article:  Where is my Joy?                                        by Bill Simpson

Some years ago as I was walking down the street from the office where I worked, on my way to lunch, I noticed a man in his late thirties, selling candy, gum and cigarettes from a little table set up at the corner of a major intersection. As I walked by, I realized that he was sitting in a wheel chair and had only a limited ability to use his hands or to speak. As I continued to pass his stand, day after day, I started to say hello as I went by, and as time continued to pass, we developed a relationship in which I stopped to talk for a few minutes each day at lunch time. Initially, my motivation was to do a little good for someone else.  However, as I was walking away from one of our discussions, I realized for the first time that I was feeling better than I did before I had walked up to him. It suddenly dawned on me that I was receiving more than I was giving. For quite awhile I’ve been involved in a choir that visits convalescent homes on a regular basis, singing for the patients. When we arrive, ten to fifteen patients are lined up in the television room, all sitting in wheelchairs, usually staring into space, with a gray, deadened look on their faces.  As we begin to sing (usually songs from the 30’s and 40’s; songs they remember), the transformation begins:  Color returns to their cheeks, soon, their eyes look up at us in recognition and within the blink of an eye they are singing and clapping along with us – smiling and happy.  Before you know it, other patients are moving down the hall toward the music; staff and other visitors are magnetically drawn; all sharing and regenerating the mysterious magic of love.  It’s pretty difficult to get through a performance with a dry eye. The first miracle of our giving is the reawakening of the patients.  But, the second, and perhaps deeper miracle is that the choir, and each individual within it, is also transformed.  Our initial sense of love and compassion is transformed into Rejoicing!             Where in the world is that Joy coming from?                   I’m not sure.  Clearly it has something to do with helping others, but I think there’s more to it than that.  There’s something about getting ourselves out of the way. In those brief moments when I put the man on the corner before myself, what flowed through me filled me with Joy, on the way to bringing him love. When, through some grace, the choir forgets itself and radiates the love that flows through it, each of us exalts in that same indescribable Joy. I know that as a parent, in those early days when our children were so tiny I could hold them in the palms of my hands, they were so helpless, and so dependent on us to love and sustain them, that it was impossible to not give them every ounce of our love and caring.  And, we were transformed in a way that has not grown stale, but only deepened with the years. It is becoming clearer to me that the more I let go of my petty concerns and fears and attachments to the outcome of things, the more something wonderful and mysterious works through me to bless myself and others. There’s Joy hiding out there somewhere – just beyond our self! I guess the final question is how do we get ourselves out of the way, so the joy can come through? I learned an affirmation from a great saint that seems to explain one way.  It has been worth my effort in learning and repeating it through the years:                             “I relax and cast aside all mental burdens,                            Allowing God to express through me                                His perfect love, peace and wisdom.”

 

Article:  The Healing Power of the Precepts:     Building Self-Esteem the Buddhist Way               by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

Throughout the history of Buddhism, the Buddha has been described as a doctor, treating spiritual ills. The path of practice he taught has likewise served as therapy for suffering hearts and minds. This understanding of the Buddha and his teachings dates back to the earliest texts, but its meaning for contemporary practitioners has become more relevant than ever.      Buddhist meditation is often touted as a form of healing, and many psychotherapists now recommend that their patients try meditation as part of their treatment. But the Buddha understood--and experience has shown--that meditation on its own can’t provide a total therapy. It requires outside support. In many ways, modern meditators have been so destabilized by the stimuli of mass civilization that they often lack the resilience, persistence, and self-esteem needed to achieve concentration and cultivate insight. To provide a grounding in these qualities, and to foster a personal environment conducive to meditation, the Buddha prescribed a path made up not only of mindfulness, concentration, and insight practices, but also of virtue. And virtue begins with the Five Precepts, which are:      - to refrain from intentionally killing any animal, from insects on up the evolutionary ladder;      - to refrain from stealing;      - to refrain from illicit sex, that is, sexual intercourse outside of a stable, committed relationship;      - to refrain from lying;      - to refrain from intoxicants (such as alcohol, marijuana, and psychotropic drugs).      These precepts constitute the first step on the path. There is a tendency to dismiss them as Sunday-school rules bound to old cultural norms that no longer apply to modern society, but this misses the role that the Buddha intended for them: to be part of a therapy for wounded minds. In particular, they are aimed at curing two ailments that underlie low self-esteem and block progress on the path--regret and denial.      When our actions don’t measure up to certain standards of behavior, we either regret the actions or engage in one of two kinds of denial--denying that our actions did, in fact, happen, or denying that the standards of measurement are really valid. These responses are like wounds in the mind. Regret is an open wound, tender to the touch, while denial is like hardened scar tissue twisted around a tender spot. When the mind is wounded in these ways, it can’t settle down comfortably in the present, for it finds itself resting on raw, exposed flesh or calcified knots.      This is where the Five Precepts come in. Healthy self-esteem comes from living up to a set of standards that is practical, clear-cut, humane, and worthy of respect. The precepts provide just such a set of standards.      The standards are simple. They may not always be easy or convenient, but they are always possible to live by. Some people translate the precepts into standards that sound more lofty or noble. To some, taking the second precept, for example, means not abusing the planet’s resources. But that's an impossibly high standard.      The Buddha understood that if you give people standards that take a little effort and mindfulness but are still possible to meet, their self-esteem soars dramatically as they find themselves actually meeting those standards. They can then face more demanding tasks with confidence.      The precepts are formulated with no ifs, ands, or buts. This means that they provide very clear guidance. There’s no room for waffling or less-than-honest rationalizations. An action either fits in with the precepts or it doesn’t. Anyone who has raised children has found that while they may complain about hard and fast rules, they actually feel more secure with them than with rules that are vague and always open to negotiation.      Clear-cut rules don’t allow for unspoken agendas to come sneaking in the back door of the mind. If, for example, the precept against killing allowed you to kill living beings when their presence is inconvenient--as in the case of mosquitos--that would place your convenience on a higher level than your compassion for life. Convenience would become your unspoken standard--and unspoken standards provide huge tracts of fertile ground for hypocrisy and denial to grow. If, however, you stick by the standards of the precepts, then you are providing unlimited safety for all. In terms of other precepts, you provide safety for their possessions and their sexuality, and truthfulness and mindfulness in your communication with them.      The precepts are humane both to the person who observes them and to the people affected by his or her actions. If you observe them, you are aligning yourself with the doctrine of karma, which teaches that the most important powers shaping your experience of the world are the intentional thoughts, words, and deeds you choose in the present moment. This means that you are not insignificant.      With every choice you make--at home, at work, at play--you are exercising your power in the ongoing shaping of the world. At the same time, this principle allows you to measure yourself in terms that are entirely under your control: your intentional actions in the present moment. In other words, they don’t force you to measure yourself in terms of your looks, strength, brains, financial prowess, or any other criteria that depend less on your present karma than they do on karma from the past. Also, they don’t play on feelings of guilt or force you to bemoan your past lapses. Instead, they focus your attention on the ever-present possibility of living up to your standards in the here and now.      When you adopt a set of standards, it’s important to know whose standards they are and to see where those standards come from, for in effect you are joining their group, looking for their approval, and accepting their criteria for right and wrong. In this case, you couldn’t ask for a better group to join: the Buddha and his noble disciples.      The Five Precepts, in the words of the Buddha, are "standards appealing to the noble ones." From what the texts tell us of the noble ones, they aren’t people who accept standards simply on the basis of popularity. They have put their lives on the line to see what leads to true happiness and seen for themselves, for example, that all lying is pathological, and that any sex outside a stable, committed relationship is spiritually and emotionally, as well as physically, unsafe. Other people might not respect you for living by the Five Precepts, but noble ones do, and their respect is worth more than that of anyone else in the world. You can look at the standards by which you live and breathe comfortably as a full-fledged, responsible human being. For that’s what you are.      Thanissaro Bhikkhu was ordained in the Thai forest tradition of Buddhism in 1976 and is the abbot of Metta Forest Monastery near San Diego, Calif. He is the translator of numerous Buddhist texts, among them the Dhammapada. His most recent books include "The Wings to Awakening" and "Noble Strategy."

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Article:  Happy and Healthy Thoughts                      by Anonymous

You can't have a feeling without first having a thought. Most of us have talked to ourselves in such negative ways for years we actually start to believe we are nothing. About a year and a half ago I started to really "listen" to how I talked to myself. I was shocked. No wonder I was depressed and felt I didn't deserve to live. It took great effort to overcome my negative thought patterns. This list of Happy and Healthy Thoughts was my starting point. Reading this daily was like taking baby steps. However, as I practiced daily reading and reinforcing new thought patterns I began to feel better. I posted a copy on my refrigerator, in the bathroom and I still carry a copy in my Daytimer. Now, when I catch myself "dumping" on me, I try to correct those self-defeating thoughts. Read this everyday. Post them where you can see them. Carry a copy in your organizer, purse or pocket. It will lift your spirits. 1. I am a unique and precious human being, always doing the best I can, always growing in wisdom and love. 2. I don't need to prove myself to anyone, not even to myself, for I know that I am perfectly fine as I am. 3. I make my own decisions and assume responsibility for any mistakes. However, I refuse to feel shame or guilt about them. I do the best I can, and this 100 percent is good enough. 4. I am not my actions, I am the actor. My actions may be good or bad. That does not make me good or bad. 5. Whenever I am tempted to punish myself, I remember to be kind and gentle instead. I know that in order to be the best I can be, I need forgiveness and understanding. 6. I know that it is okay to need. I try to keep in touch with my needs so that I can respond to them. 7. I know that others cannot be expected to read my mind or to guess my needs. In fairness to them and to me, I ask for what I need. 8. I deserve to be appreciated. When others show their appreciation, I embrace it with open arms. I never try to deny or diminish my value. 9. I live one day at a time and do first things first.         10. I take great pride in what I do, in what I value and in the way I live for I truly believe in myself. 11. My mistakes and nonsuccess do not make me a louse, a failure, or whatever. They only prove that I am imperfect, that is human. It is wonderful to be human. 12. I love myself, absolutely and unconditionally, for that is what I truly need and deserve.

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Article:  The Paradox of Feeling Stable in an Unstable World            by Bill Simpson

This is the second in a series of articles taken from the class outline for Developing a Spiritual lifestyle: The Fundamentals of Conscious Living, one of the ongoing workshops offered by the Conscious Living Foundation.  In this series we will explore a variety of questions related toward the goal of developing a life lived more consciously.               Ovid says, “All things change, nothing is extinguished.... There is nothing in the whole world which is permanent. Everything flows onward; all things are brought into being with a changing nature; the ages themselves glide by in constant movement.”            In this article we will investigate more deeply into how each of us accommodates consistency and change in our daily lives – and whether our current life paradigm supports our desire to grow.             Let’s take a quick survey:             1.  On a scale of 1 to 10, how stable does your life feel?  10 means your life feels totally stable, 1 means you life is pure chaos.             2.  How predictable does your life feel? (1 to 10)              3.  What percentage of your life feels like it is the same from day to day?  100% means your life feels exactly the same from day to day.              In offering this survey in our workshops, the usual answers are in the 7 to 9  (or 70% to 90%) range              How did you answer?  How predictable and stable does your life feel, when you answer the question with the first thought that comes to your mind?  Why we feel a sense of “sameness” What are the specific items in our daily life that are the same each day?  What are the elements of your life that give it a sense of “sameness”?              What about the “Locations” associated with your daily life?  Do you live in the same home, work at the same location?  Do you drive the same streets, pass the same billboards, stop at the same gas stations?  Do these repeatedly experienced locations give you a sense of sameness in your life?              What about the “Things”  in your life?  Are you sleeping in the same bed, eating off of the same dishes, sitting in the same furniture, driving the same car?  Wearing the same range of clothing?              What about the “People” in your life – are they generally the same?  Same spouse, same friends, same boss, same coworkers, same father, mother, brothers, sisters and children?              And finally, what about our “Patterns of Behavior”?  Are they frequently the same?  Do you eat the same range of foods, do you bathe the same way?  (Do you wash your body in the same pattern – starting here, then moving there?)  Do you speak with the same specific word patterns – “Hi, how are you”, “Have a good day”, “Take care”.  Do you perform the same pattern of dressing in the morning? (Do you put the shoe on the same foot first?) Do you take the same route to work every day?              Routines.  Morning routines, work routines, evening routines – entertainment routines (same range of restaurants, movie theaters, hiking trails, vacation locations). If you imagine that each pattern, habit or routine is a handhold as you move through your life  - a stability point – then what effect do these have on your perception of the nature of life?              Stop reading for a moment, and look inside.  Try to discover how these repeated patterns of behavior and interaction make you feel.              Do they make you feel safe or secure?  Do they give you a sense that everything remains the same?               I’m often left with the feeling that they are dependable, stable, repeatable, unchanging, reliable, and fixed.  When the pieces of your life feel familiar, how does that effect your feelings?              Somehow, to be comfortable in our world and our life perhaps we convince ourselves that there are things we can depend on; that there is something predictable and stable about our lives.              We get up from the same bed each morning in the same bedroom, have breakfast at the same table, perhaps with the same people.  We take the same car or bus down the same streets to the same job or school or other activity.              We meet the same people and say “hello” and “how are you” nearly the same way each day.  We do the same tasks, eat lunch with someone from the same group of choices at some place from the same group of choices and then we perform more activities that are quite similar to what we performed yesterday and will perform tomorrow.              We drive the same car back down the same familiar streets to the same familiar home and the same familiar evening activities.              And finally, we go to sleep in the same familiar bed to eventually awaken and begin the “familiarity game” again the next day.  How were these stability points created?              Was there ever choice involved when you created all of your stability points?              Perhaps with some there was.  I consciously chose to find the most efficient route to work and then I decided to continue to use that route.              I don’t know if I consciously chose the salutations and greetings that I often use or that I start brushing my teeth on the left lower side.              Which repeating parts of your life did you chose?              Did you chose to brush your hair before you brush your teeth?  If not you, who did?             Perhaps in some instances, we were raised by our parents with certain choices made for us – perhaps they are passing on what they learned from their parents.  In other instances, perhaps our behaviors and choices are patterned by our society, by what we see on television and in the movies.  Perhaps, sometimes, our culture as a whole makes our choices.  Why in the world do the British drive on the “wrong” side of the road? Sometimes, the organizations to which we belong make our choices for us – the church, the dress code at work, the fraternity, or the military.               These familiar behaviors are created by an initial choice by someone (perhaps us, perhaps our parents or someone else), either consciously or unconsciously, that has been repeated sufficiently to become a habit.  And now, we repeat these habits over and over creating deep habit grooves in the record of our mind.             And this repetition of behavioral habits gives us the impression that there is predictability and stability in our world and in our life.              As we see change dramatized on TV and in books and movies – do the events you see portrayed make you think that they could happen to you – or do you believe there’s an underlying feeling that “it can’t happen to me”?  For myself, I always see the turmoil, adventure and chaos expressed in my entertainment as something different than myself – when I look closely, I don’t for a minute imagine that it could really happen to me.  Why would I feel that way ?  Experiences that remind us that change can happen. Despite our feeling to the contrary, there are times when change imposes itself on us, whether we expect it or not. What are the factors in your life that remind you that things change?  Have you ever been in a car accident?  Have you ever changed employment? Have you ever moved a long distance?  Changed countries? Have you ever been married, or divorced? Have you ever been hospitalized or battled death?  Have you ever been in a war?  Have you ever experienced a death in the family?             How did you feel during those tumultuous times?  Were you scared?  Did you have a sense of being lost?  A feeling of hopelessness?  Was there a sensation of being cast out of the familiar?              Did you feel secure?  Stable?  Did life feel Predictable?             “Change begets change. Nothing propagates so fast. If a man habituated to a narrow circle of cares and pleasures, out of which he seldom travels, step beyond it, though for never so brief a space, his departure from the monotonous scene on which he has been an actor of importance would seem to be the signal for instant confusion.... The mine which Time has slowly dug beneath familiar objects is sprung in an instant; and what was rock before, becomes but sand and dust.                                                                         Charles Dickens           When we have these habit shattering experiences, we suddenly feel like we have been cast out of all that is familiar; that somehow we’ve been transported to a new place that feels dangerous and scary.  Our reliance on habit has been significantly reduced. What happened, after the emergency was over?  Did you start to feel secure again?  How long did it take?  What happened that caused the sense of security to return?  Is that feeling of security real?             But, of course, as quickly as possible, we build new habits (consciously or unconsciously) and within a few days, or weeks or months, or years, we start to feel secure again.             These were examples of large, sometimes catastrophic changes in our lives; are there smaller experiences that also show us that change is occurring in our  lives?              Look at the clouds in the wind, the movement of the waves, the change of the seasons, the  wind chimes in the breeze.  Where ever we look we get messages that everything is changing.             Are you really secure in this world?              Heraclitus, a couple of thousand years ago said,  "Nothing is permanent but change."               Yet, we “feel” secure.  This is the “rub”, the paradox, the contradiction.  When it is so obvious to our minds and logic that change is everywhere and that it has struck us in the past and will strike us again – still, most of the time, we feel safe, secure and with a sense that the elements of our lives are permanent.              How  do we penetrate the contradiction?             “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”                                                                         Bible: New Testament, Matthew 18:3             What are the benefits or gains from even considering this paradox?  What might we lose from thinking about this?            “Proverbial wisdom counsels against risk and change. But sitting ducks fare worst of all.”                                                                         Mason Cooley              How do we bridge the gap from our reliance on habits and conditioning to perceive the actual state of constantly changing reality?  What can we do on a daily basis to awaken to the real state of change in our lives?             “What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut.”                                                                         Mark Twain  Beginning to experience the reality of change.              Try consciously to choose different locations, people and things in your life. (break habits, patterns and routines)                a.  Vary your driving routes.  Go a different way even if it takes longer.                    b.  Try eating food you don't usually eat.                c.   Visit new restaurants, parks, neighborhoods.                d.   Change the sequence of putting your shoes on.                                         e.  Modify your speech patterns; try saying "hello".                f.  Hang your towels differently, turn the toilet paper the other direction..                g.  Wear some clothing you don't usually wear.              Some Buddhist and yoga groups used to individually go to grave yards at night and meditate.  Even imagining such an experience can produce surprising effects.              Create a "doing it differently" partner.  Cooperate with others and permit them the freedom to experiment with change with the agreement that they will allow you the same freedom.  (cooperative role redefinition)  Practice doing things differently with a friend or spouse who is willing to experiment with reducing the number of stability points in their life.              Would meditation and prayer help with this experiment?  How?              How about practicing a mantram, chanting, or repeating an affirmation?  How would they help?             “I do dimly perceive that whilst everything around me is ever changing, ever dying, there is underlying all that change a living power that is changeless, that holds all together, that creates, dissolves, and re-creates. That informing power of spirit is God.  And since nothing else that I see merely through the senses can or will persist, He alone is.”                         Mahatma Gandhi             If you want to share your thoughts or answers to the questions ask in this article, please email me at bill@consciouslivingfoundation.org, or post your comments on the CLF bulletin board.             (To be continued.)

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A Letter:  Pilgrims Together                                         by Fra Giovanni

I am your friend, and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not got; But there is much, very much, that, while I cannot give it, You can take.   No heaven can come to us unless our hearts Find rest in today.  Take Heaven! No Peace lies in the future which is not hidden In this present little instant.  Take Peace!   The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach, is Joy. There is radiance and glory in the darkness. Could we but see, and to see, we have only to look. I beseech you to look.   Life is so generous a giver, but we, Judging its gifts by their covering, Cast them away as ugly, or heavy, or hard. Remove the covering, and you will find beneath it A living splendor, woven of love, by wisdom, with power.   Welcome it, grasp it, and you touch the Angel’s hand that brings it to you. Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or a duty. Believe me, that Angel’s hand is there; the gift is there, And the wonder of an overshadowing Presence. Our joys too: be not content with them as joys. They, too, conceal Diviner gifts.   Life is so full of meaning and purpose, So full of Beauty – beneath its covering – That you will find earth but cloaks  your heaven.   Courage then to claim it: that is all! But courage you have; and the knowledge that we are pilgrims together, Wending through unknown country, home.   And so, at this time, I greet you. Not quite as the world sends greetings, But with profound esteem and with the prayer